Week 2 - Response 1

ORIGINAL POST – Josh Tolar:

I keep thinking about the current situation about my job and how it happened so fast. While I was hastily updating my resume to look for a new job to cure my unhappiness with my current one, an opportunity came out from no where and basically slapped me in the face. I’m now in a new position with the same company, but I don’t know for how long. I have this hidden fear that one day this position will be over and I will have to go back where I used to work and fall into an unhappy lifestyle again where my expertise is nothing but a title on a sheet of paper. It is here that I have enclosed myself into a box and never stopped to think about the opportunity I have right now and how it might actually affect my future; An opportunity to seize the moment.

By reading the first 4 chapters of “Art of Possibility”, I realized the potentials I have as well as the weaknesses I have had and still have. When thinking about giving an A to someone, it somehow calms my nerves from expecting too much and allows me to focus on how to contribute to someone else’s life or a project. This IS a realization, but NOT THE END of realizations. While giving an A to someone might make it easier for two people to work together in a more harmonious fashion, there is still the realization of giving yourself an A. For so many years I have been controlled by a never-ending urge to please everyone. It has caused me to go above and beyond to the extent that my body shuts down and causes many problems like stress or an occasional illness. This is from my past of always having to live up to an A or suffer the consequences or living up to the expectations of a parent and it never stopped. It never stopped because I never allowed it to stop. I have always given in to the persistent calculations and measurements in my head. I have always been afraid that if I don’t do the best possible work then I would fail or cause someone to feel disappointed. I have always been in the realm of self-doubt despite of what others say. This is just like what Ben Zander was describing about his students and how giving an A would open up the possibilities of being creative and not focusing on the measurements in their head. If I give myself an A first, then I feel I can start handing out A’s to other people and I can then start a successful domino effect of contribution.

Life is constantly changing and the past year at Full Sail has not only given me strength and trust in myself, but has shown me that when you work with others and recognize their contributions as well as your own, amazing things start to happen. I have always been told, “If you put your mind to it, anything can happen”. This is so true in so many ways, but you have to first realize that if you give in to self-doubt and the measurements that we are so conditioned with, you start to focus on the negative instead of the positive. You become enclosed in a box. I think that by realizing our contributions and the contributions of other people, we can start to open the lid of the box and slowly come out.

MY RESPONSE:

Josh, your post was really deep. It seems like your life really opened up as a result of the reading, which is really quite powerful. I feel like I have a better idea of who you are and where you’ve come from after reading this post and also understand more about where your drive to perfection comes from. As you insinuated, perfection comes with a cost and sometimes that cost is health or stress. I suffer too from perfectionism but recently have been able to allow myself to be freed from it in situations where the end result was not critical (although I still struggle with it). I’m very excited for you and your new position as well and hope that it is just the beginning. But as you said, with a different view on the work and the people you’re working with, the old job may be “new” already.